Well, Here Goes The Happy Happy Boy Again!


Grand Theft

Movie Logic explained

Why do superheros have that big muscles? I mean, they have superpowers anyway, don't they? Even the strongest human bones and muscles could not endure the weight of a train or a plane so the bones and muscles of a superhero must be made from some special material anyway, so why do they have so much of it? Gee, i guess that question is as useless as wondering why in movies there is sound in space battles. Sound needs air, in space there's no air so in space there's no sound. My girlfriend assumes that it works anyway because they always leave the communication channels open during the battles, so you can hear the sound of one ship exploding in the other ship. I guess that's a fairly reasonable explanation. Someone might come up with a good reason for those huge superhero muscles too.

2007 03 23


Yesterday in a pub I saw an anti-G8 poster with the headline "Make Capitalism History!". This is nonsense, capitalism is not worse or better than communism or anarchy. They all don't work for the same reason: A minority in the society behaves egoistic because they are greedy for power and money and so they ruin everything. So the protesters waste their energy fighting the wrong enemy. There are fine capitalists and socialists who are assholes. The problem is not capitalism but the fact that it possible to become a respected member of the society by stealing and betraying. Just call it new economy and there you are. If people would be nice and honest with each other capitalism would just work fine. So don't fight capitalism, fight the greedy egoists. I don't remember which song this line is already: "Don't fight the black, don't fight the white, see what you bites then fight the bite".
Oh boy, so many smart things have been said, done or written down already and most people just don't care and make the same silly mistakes all over again.

2007 03 04

Confuse a student

I'd like to have the Astra-Logo tattooed on my liver. I guess it would be some real fun when I donate my corpse to a medical school and the students discover it when they slit me open. If it is not possible to have something tattooed on his liver I could tattoo something like "Hey, medicine students, once I studied medicine too and look how it ended. " on my back. On the other hand, why shouldn't it be possible to get a liver-job? There are quacks that are irresponsible enough to stuff silicone implants into calfs of men who obviously have some psychic problems thinking they don't attract women because of the shape of their calfs, so a liver tattoo shouldn't be the problem if I just cough up enough dough.

2007 03 04

Reality sucks

Recently I went into a big electrotainment store in the city. A milkfaced adolescent in a Matrix coat came out of the games department, a game package under his arm and trying to walk down the aisle as cool as the actors in the Matrix movie. I can't help imagine this guy sitting in front of his screen all the time thinking he has the power of a superhero when he comes into the real world. Is this sad? Hilarious? Enviable?

2007 03 04

Me, the Agnostic

There is no way for me into religion because they can't attract me with heaven nor frighten me with hell, for you have to be religious already to believe in these. See www.agnost.net for further explanations.

2006 12 02

Genetically Modified Food

Would you take a pill which is labeled "Not proven to be dangerous!"? Probably not. The inventor of that pill has to make sure that the pill is not harmful. Why is this so different with genetic food? Why can a genetic food manufacturer get along with the argument that his products are not proven to be dangerous? Why are they not forced by law to make sure their products are safe? Maybe its the same thing as with the saying "Kill one and you are a murderer, kill a million and you are a hero". If someone dies from a bad pill the pill-company will get sued their pants off. If genetic food gets out of control then, by golly, we will have other problems than suing someone.
Why am I writing this anyway? I can only lose. If genetic food turns out to be fine I am an annoying quarreler, if it turns out to be bad it's no help if I say "See, I told you before!". Oh, what the heck, gimme' another beer.

2006 12 02

Middle and long Distance running

In my younger years I use to be quite a good middle distance runner. I even won a little championship when I was 17 years old, running the 5000 meters in 17:01. I will never forget that time, because I bragged that I would run under 17 minutes, and a fellow athlete said "Never, ever!" and we bet a crate of beer and on the home straight someone I outstripped crossed my way and I ran into him at full speed and so I lost about one second and that crate of beer, but I digress. After each race I was so exhausted that I couldn't walk anymore and usually I had to vomit. And if it hadn't been that way I knew that I conserved too much energy which would have been better spent running faster.
In my life I want to do just the same way. When it's time to die I want to be sick and exhausted. When I feel OK and full of energy it must be quite annoying to die. All the things that could have been done. All the ideas that could have been had. But when you are ill and worn out it is OK to reach the finish.
There is a problem with that approach: I don't know where the finishing line is. Now there we have a problem that would fit nicely into game theory: What is the best strategy to compete in a race that is somewhat between 3000 and 10.000 meters long?

2006 10 31


I always write down things. Whenever something comes to my mind I write it down because otherwise it would clog up my brain and keep it from thinking up new things. So I have piles of little sheets of paper laying around everywhere and I keep finding them in the pockets of my clothing and so on. When I find them it is usually not very interesting what I wrote down, because it is a sort of drain and things that go down the drain usually have the feature of not being very thrilling. But sometimes it happens to be quite smart what I wrote away, or weird or funny or all together. I also write down things when I'm drunk, and then I write them down even quicker and with less thinking about it, because then the things have the tendency of slipping out of my brain while I'm still busy rummaging in my pockets for a pencil. Last weekend I got pretty drunk and somewhat late at night I made up a bandname and wrote it down and when I discovered the note the next day it was "Pussy and the Muffdivers". I still can't decide if this is funny, plain stupid, embarrassing or just scary.

2006 10 22

Long way to go

This one came to me recently. Wouldn't it be just great to live in a world where people are really honest? I mean, imagine an automatic telling machine that doesn't need any authentification. Just type in your account number, the amount of money you want and you get it. Whew, one stupid card less to be carried around in a purse and one silly code less to remember. Or, you wouldn't need any keys. Just leave your door open when you leave, people that break into houses and steal things just don't exist. No bunches of keys to be carried around and no way to lock yourself out either. Just leave your bicycle standing around in front of the shop you're in, no need to buy expensive and carry around heavy locks, no wasting time doing the same dull lock-unlock routine again and again. No one would ever need to configure a firewall again. No logins and passwords to remember. No more doubts like "Is this really the promised bargain or is this guy going to screw me?". Hey, if he says it is a bargain it is a bargain, that's all about it. No more bad advertising, wow, hallelujah! Only products that are good and useful would be advertised for because the others would require lying. Oh boy, all that would really make a lot of things a lot easier for everyone. It is really incredible how stupid we humans are, how much time we spend making our own lives miserable and how far away from a perfect world this place we live in is. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Do me a favour if you will please: Say to the next human you see in a silly and high-pitched voice "Bad human! Bad Human! Out!" while shaking your outstretched index finger to him. Thanks.

2006 10 22

More bigots

Hey, you Pro Life and other antiabortion fascists! What do you think of that: I'd rather be dead than being raised by a mother who would have preferred to abort me. What you say? If she wouldn't have wanted a child she shouldn't have had sex. There you are. You don't care for the children at all. You only want to force your bigot morale on other people. If women have sex for fun and get pregnant by mistake you just want to punish them. By the way you punish the cild even worse, but that's none of your business, is it not? Bleah, you make me sick!

2006 10 22

We are fucked up

It's fun to watch nature documentaries these days. No matter where you look at, everything goes wrong. I enjoy watching these scientific movies about nature. It's like reading obituaries in the newspaper. I start thinking: "Hey, it's all over soon. Relax and enjoy life, man, and don't take things too seriously."

2006 10 13

Bruno the Bear

Did you know that germans are world-champions in donating money to wildlife funds to help to preserve nature in other countries with their jungles and endangered species? Well, yes, we are. And did you know that in germany we had the first wild bear in 170 years recently? Oh, yes we had. He was given the name Bruno or JJ1, for whatever reason. Wow great, did the germans think, now we can show how we respect nature and treat them animals all right also here in our own country? No way. That bear was shot dead on the next best opportunity. He's dangerous, they say. Well, that's our european civilization. We killed all wild animals for the sake of a safe living here and chopped off all the forests to build ourself wooden warships to conquer the world and now we tell them other countries not to do this themself. It's uncivilized to tar a jungle they say. Bigots!

2006 07 02

Soccer Fans

Why is it that all people on TV talk about the good atmosphere and the great fans at the word cup and then they show pictures of shouting idiots who are so drunk that they can't even pronounce consonants anymore? They are so peaceful and don't beat each other up, they say. Wow, great! We are happy if people show at least a last remnant of civilization. We have become easily satisfied these days. Well, I think we have to take what we can get. Gosh!

2006 06 30

First Thinking

Sometimes people ask me me if I have "too much time" for example when I tell them that I play drums in a weird deathmetal-swing-punk-pop band that will never have any commercial success whatsoever or that I write silly software that I give away for free. Let us think about that for a while. Imagine someone who doesn't have much time at all. For example someone with uncurable cancer in his lung and stomach and the doctors give him half a year or one at most. Will this guy do all reasonable things like doing a steady job and earn some money to buy himself a new sofa? Of course not. Wouldn't he do the things he always wanted to do all his live like painting pictures, try LSD and hike to australia? More likely, I'd say! This is what you do if you have only have little time. It's the people who do a job they don't like, buy themselves things the don't need to impress people they hate are the ones that have too much time. I don't have much time at all. Maybe 30 years, maybe 20, maybe 40. That's nothing. Whoosh, its gone and I'm a stiff. Ok, enough of that. There are silly things to be done! Expect some of them to appear around here...

2006 04 10